Eyes Wide Open

"Words can be a sword to the heart... Sometimes there's truth in them.  Sometimes there isn't.  Go over what [was] said to you.  If there's any truth in it, you'll have to decide what to do with it.  As to the rest, try to let it go."

I read these words in a novel last week.  Little did I know they would be advice for me this week.

On Sunday, someone visiting at church wrote a note to Richard and I and asked us to read it together, understanding it was meant in love.  I won't go into detail about the note, but will say that it mentioned observations of our parenting style that had been made on a few visits to the congregation.  It also had advice, as this individual stated she had successfully raised 9 children of her own and has helped others with their children.

I'm not going to lie.  My reaction to her letter was not Christ-like in the beginning.  At first I was defensive.  That's not us.  She's got it all wrong.  We've got to tell her what was really going on.  She doesn't even know.  Then, I was embarrassed.  If a complete stranger thinks that of us, what do others think?  Then, I was angry.  Who does she think she is, writing a note like that?!  She didn't even bother to introduce herself to me!  She didn't even get to know us before doing that!  What gall!  Then, I was sad.  I can't believe someone would think that of us.  We're trying so hard to be good parents and set a good example.  I thought we were doing the right thing.  Then, I was doubtful.  Is she right?  Are we doing things the wrong way with Reagan?  Have I had it all wrong all this time?

The more that I thought about the note, the more concerned I got about my parenting decisions, the more I began to worry about what I was teaching my son by some of my choices with him.  I cried a good bit of the way home, going over my choices in my head.  Then, the quote from my novel came back to my mind. Words can be a sword to the heart... Sometimes there's truth in them.  Sometimes there isn't.  Go over what [was] said to you.  If there's any truth in it, you'll have to decide what to do with it.  As to the rest, try to let it go.

Some of the note was purely based on assumption.  However, some of the note was truly an outsider's view of what was going on in our family.  I knew what I had to do was take the "truth" written in this note and consider what to do with it.  I truly believe everything that happens to us is for a purpose.  In my heart, I know that this stranger was teaching me something I needed to know that would help me.  It took courage for her to write that note.  She mentioned to Richard, verbally, it was meant in love.  She wrote in the note that her intent was to help, in love.  God was working through this woman to bring something to our attention that we hadn't seen before.  We talked over some things and came up with a solution to the problem we were having.  I prayed that God would take away my anger and bitterness toward this woman, to let me see the good in what she had done.  He did.  By the next day, I was no longer defensive, embarrassed, angry, sad, or doubtful.  I was resolved and thankful.  I am thankful that someone had the courage to speak up early on before the problem (we didn't realize was there) had gotten worse.